Monday, August 20, 2007

doing it all...and then some

Tonight, I was reading another mom's blog and she wrote about a topic that I have lately been struggling with. Missy is a working mother, who is actually pregnant at the time. She is what I (and lots of others) call a "do-it-all" mom. I was responding to her blog and while doing so, I said "I wish I could be a do-it-all mom." After I said that, I thought to myself and also called myself out in her blog..that is a lie. I don't want to be a DIAM*. I think maybe deep down I wish I wanted to be one. Is it wrong that I don't want to be one? I love staying home and caring for Graycen all day. It is my joy to take care of her, teach her things, watch her be adventurous and our little explorer. Being home all day, I have found a different part of myself. In writing this, I realized..I AM a DIAM. Just not in the way of having a career and family at the same time. I am happy and content with my life. I actually wish we had more kids right now and that I never had to work again. Yep..I said it! I don't want to work. Not because I don't enjoy working, because surprisingly, I do enjoy it A LOT! I just want to be at home with my kids all day. We'll see what the future holds for me. To all of the other mothers that are a DIAM, good for you! If it works for you and you can enjoy and be happy with it..then I admire you!! Really, I do.

*DIAM= do it all mom


Anonymous said...

Any mother that is working outside the home..actually is holding a 2nd job. Working that 2nd job takes something from the mother. It is either time from her family or time from herself. So being a "DIAM" isn't always the best... it is mainly out of necessity. If a person has the opportunity to be a "stay at home mom" (which is a full time job in itself)..then more power to her. Most of us Moms that had to hold that 2nd job was jealous of those that got to stay home. If you have that chance...take it...your children will be the winners.

pianomomsicle said...

You know, my sister-in-law is a DIAM, working full-time, getting her degree online and graduating summa cum laude, having two extremely bright well-behaved daughters, house always clean and always with a cute outfit cutely accesorized. i for sure am jealous of her, but i realized there are some people cut out to be like that, and some (me) that aren't. If i tried to pull all that off, i'd fail somewhere and freak out and have to quit something anyway. i'm happy with my working 4 hours/week and having a moderately clean house and spending lots of time with David. That works for me and my personality type. i just don't understand women that are that high-energy, you know?

liz said...

Hmmmm. I don't know if I agree that mothers who work outside the home do it mainly out of necessity... I plan to work after having a baby because I love my job and didn't work my butt off in law school only to not use my degree. (And also because my husband plans to be a stay-at-home dad!)

But, I truly don't intend to come off as critical of others' choices. It makes me sad that both SAHMs and work-outside-the-home moms (because we all know SAHMs ARE working moms!) often feel the need to defend their choices. Both women and men need to do what is best for their families, and I think it is a partnership - together, you have to come up with a plan that works. Just as I cannot imagine being a SAHM, you can't imagine being a work-outside-the-home mom, and that is fine and wonderful! As long as we are both happy, it doesn't really matter what other people think. :)

April-C-A said...

Isn't it funny how much reflecting you do now that you're a mom? I don't think working mom's are DIAM and I don't think that stay at home mom's are DIAM. I think we're all DIAM in our own way. Whatever works for each of our families is what matters the most.

Missy said...

Wow, I was surprised to see my name on your post! Yes, I agree that there are sacrifices somewhere - my biggest sacrifice is ME. My only me time is when I can run out for lunch during work. I can't remember the last time I went out with a girlfriend - oh yes, in May for dinner to celebrate my birthday. And Mitch and I rarely go out alone. On one hand I really miss my old life of going out with friends for coffee, dinner, sleeping in on weekends, etc.

On the other hand, it's a no brainer to me that I'd rather spend that time with my child/family and do things we all enjoy -- we do family outings/projects almost every weekend, and I love to take him to the park, go for walks, etc. So I still enjoy my time but rarely get any for myself.